lost...

What have u come to be?! where once there was a bright eyed youngster with dreams, hopes and aspirations, now all i see is an empty shell of a human being whose dull eyes seem to hold nothing more than the vacant stare of a man who has no goal to aspire for. Where once conviction, purpose and ideals rang deep and sound in tat voice and speech, all i hear now are hollow words, the echoes resounding in the emptiness the words vainly strive to veil.

How long has it been since u did, anything that would have raised an appreciative brow from a fellow human being, from the few people who seem to look up to u, who still think that u are worth more to this world that a piece of stone or a glass of water. How long has it been that you have let those creative juices flow, did something worthwhile which could have withstood critical review as something notable which millions of others in the world could not have created ?

How long has it been that u have dared to look within yourself, too afraid to see what you might find? how long has it been that u have done something , purely for pleasure, either for your own or for someone elses, untainted by worry, just u and the deed and the feeling of satisfaction or pleasure that u had so loved?

Football doesnt seem to be what it once was, and u , no longer the player u once were. I seem to have hit a creative roadblock - be it in Football, or writing? how long has it been that the "idea" has been brewing in ur mind, entrapped in your vicious laziness, for want of a better word, slowly decaying in the sepulchural gloom of your swampy mind?

u seem to have gone wrong along the way.. gone terribly wrong. u now are beginning to no longer be able to trust the choices that u make, the principles u once thought u might have had? u are lost...and lonely... and sad...