How i miss thee...

Talking animatedly to my mother at home today, it took a while for her weird looks to make me realize that I was dancing circles around her. The culprit was a tennis ball I had found lying around, and unbeknown to me, I had started dribbling(not the nasty kind). Sidestepping the furniture with deft in-steps and out-steps, playing an imaginative 1-2 pass with the wall to outfox the solid defense of the coffee table's legs and faking a shot on goal to fool the chair before finally neatly stepping away from the flummoxed four-legged defender to unleash a trademark left footer into the far right top corner.. sigh.. i miss football...

Its been exactly four months since I broke my ankle in that fateful match, and I havent still stepped onto the football field. The ankle has healed pretty well, but still the weakness is hard not to miss. Whether the ankle is ready or not, the heart yearns to get back on to the field.. Aaaahh.. the joys of football.. the thrill of outthinking the opponent.. the rush of adrenalin at the sight of a goal chance.. the feeling of pure and utter freedom when u beat the opponent for sheer pace as you race ahead with the ball on the counter attack.. the sense of oneness of purpose and the true and complete understanding with your teammate that makes the perfect pass.. the indescribable warmth of pure joy that washes over you when u see the net bulge with the power of your shot.. the split second heart stopping moment just after taking a shot on goal when time seems to stand still as 22 eyes bore into the ball willing it with all their might to move an inch here or an inch there... the sense of camaraderie in the team huddle.. the bitter lead-heavy disappointment of a missed chance.. the heartbreak of an undeserved loss.. .. the sheer tears of joy after a hard earned win...the gentle ache of tired muscles after a great game.. the biting smell of the muscle relaxant sprays which shrouds the team bunker at half time.. the unforgiving remorse that a goal which you missed could have won your team the match.. the unimaginable ecstasy of a come-from-behind-victory.. aaaahhh.. how i miss them all!

the sheer joy of winning the ball from an opponent with a hard tackle and having it at my feet with the opponent half lying invitingly ahead as the wingers stream ahead along the flanks and the midfielders quickly get into position for tat pass that would launch the attack.. If only you could freeze time in that one instant, that just might be the most focused you will ever find me..and one of the happiest too..

The trouble with dreams...

Its been just one day into the 30 day challenge, but I am already enjoying it immensely. Got in touch with Ay, AMC, J, AC, An and a senior whom I havent spoken to in four years ( i know that is slightly more than one, but who cares! ). And the best part is, he got in touch with me after reading about the challenge :) Today was great...there's something about catching up with old friends that seems to just life your spirits up.. which takes you to that special warm place where snapshots of the days gone by and the fun you had seem to swim in front of you for a while..its a strange but great feeling..Is it just me or do memories seem to be stored in the mind mostly in the form of pictures? Maybe its the overkill of pictures everywhere thanks to the digital camera, but when I look back at my past now, it seems to flash in my minds eye in the form of pictures, snapshots of life, love, laughter and tears. And the harder I think about it, the more they seem to fly about in a choreographed slideshow of frozen action scenes...The mind sure is a weird and wonderful thing...

I ve always wondered at its intricacies.. like, for instance, the way it concocts this elaborate and intricate web of reality and fools itself into believing in its validity when we dream.. The mental picture of one part of the brain (responsible for engineering this remarkable deception) rolling around in laughter watching the other part trying to make sense and survive in the illusion that it created is both wacky, and deeply disturbing.

And another thing about dreams... ever wondered how tat alarm bell or shake or fall that woke u up got so intricately and seamlessly woven into the plot of the dream? Classical dream theorists such as Nolan would suggest that its just the sub conscious adjusting to external stimuli but what if the explanation is not tat simple? What if, our mind actually can work backward in time while creating its version of reality? What if, the whole dream started with the stimuli that woke you up and worked backwards into the story in reverse time? Is there any reason that the unidirectional nature of time followed by the physical world should be extended into the metaphysical? Maybe that is the reason why the story seems so smooth..so continuous.. And if by a huge stretch of imagination, we could in fact assume that this is true, what great ramifications this could have in our understanding or realisation of our ignorance in the way our mind processes information and constructs solutions? Could this ability to engineer a version of reality be harnessed to affect some tangible physical process? There are no end to these questions.. its the answers that are hard to come by... What do you think?

Maybe its the pitter patter of the rain outside my window or the increasingly complex dreams that I have been having, but my mind is abuzz with many more ramblings but I guess I better stop for now... cos I know when I close my laptop and sink into my inviting bed, a whole new world awaits me... and its an intellectual and creative adventure which I am loving :)

P.S: Thanks An, for all the motivation and quite undeserved praise. I was both flattered and shamed into posting today by you :D

the 30 day challenge

Keeping with my routine of eating, sleeping, cracked.com, web comics, watching tv shows and a little of cooking and cleaning, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself on my fav site after a long long time - ted.com. Found this great idea on TED.. do check it out http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html . The simplicity of the whole idea struck me. Take something u always wanted to do and challenge yourself to do it for 30 days. Simple as that. It can be as small as reading the newspaper everyday or blogging everyday or as big as volunteering at a local NGO or learning a new instrument. It can be both an experiment of your will power and an exercise for it. Also, you get to have great fun and at the end of it, can look back in satisfaction :) tat got me thinking.. I am never gonna be as vetti (free) as I am right now..so y not? Being the procrastinator I am ( right M ?) , I decided to start off light.. Heres the plan so far:

1. Get in touch with one old( or relatively new) friend everyday.

2. Nah.. dont wanna jinx this one.. but its big.. hope I do well enough to tell u i did it after 30 days :)

so wats your plan?

Scary?Exciting?

Lately , I have been vegetating(for want of a better word) in this state of languorous idleness. I feel like I am floating in this stupor of domestic comfort, curling up in the warmth of the last days of vacation before I embark on what's going to be the single biggest adventure of my young life. The last few years have been a roller coaster ride and I must say I have come out with a smile at the end of it, although the stomach still churns at the twists and turns. And as I stand now and look at myself, I cant help but feel that this is it... this is the prime of my life.. i am never gonna be as healthy, as energetic, as sharp and as driven as I am right now, right here...and that, my friends, is a scary thought, dont u think? to think that you've reaching the point in life, which for most people, is the defining edge, the junction where we have all these numerous roads branching out and the weighty decision of choosing among them hanging over us. And (again for most of us ), its that one road that will matter more than anything else you might do in your lives. All those childhood beliefs that we can be what we wanna be and anything is possible - this is it. In all likelihood, you will be doing what you choose to do now, for the rest of your life. Its this single decision that will most probably define your lives, your future, the people you will meet and the experiences that you will have. Scary? Indeed. But exciting? Yes.

And as I choose my road and brush the dust off my shoes and get ready to move on, I hope I will one day look back at this decision and reminisce at the wonderful journey that it had brought me on. On the other hand, as A says, maybe its about making the journey that you choose wonderful rather than mulling over it too much at the junction. Anyway, its great to be here... to be young.. to be strong.. to be driven..to be alive..and kicking :)