Friday, November 5, 2010

lost...

What have u come to be?! where once there was a bright eyed youngster with dreams, hopes and aspirations, now all i see is an empty shell of a human being whose dull eyes seem to hold nothing more than the vacant stare of a man who has no goal to aspire for. Where once conviction, purpose and ideals rang deep and sound in tat voice and speech, all i hear now are hollow words, the echoes resounding in the emptiness the words vainly strive to veil.

How long has it been since u did, anything that would have raised an appreciative brow from a fellow human being, from the few people who seem to look up to u, who still think that u are worth more to this world that a piece of stone or a glass of water. How long has it been that you have let those creative juices flow, did something worthwhile which could have withstood critical review as something notable which millions of others in the world could not have created ?
How long has it been that u have dared to look within yourself, too afraid to see what you might find? how long has it been that u have done something , purely for pleasure, either for your own or for someone elses, untainted by worry, just u and the deed and the feeling of satisfaction or pleasure that u had so loved?

Football doesnt seem to be what it once was, and u , no longer the player u once were. I seem to have hit a creative roadblock - be it in Football, or writing? how long has it been that the "idea" has been brewing in ur mind, entrapped in your vicious laziness, for want of a better word, slowly decaying in the sepulchural gloom of your swampy mind?

u seem to have gone wrong along the way.. gone terribly wrong. u now are beginning to no longer be able to trust the choices that u make, the principles u once thought u might have had? u are lost...and lonely... and sad...

3 comments:

mitesh said...

Really Amal!! Let the creative juices flow.. It's been a long time; haven't seen a lot of the kind u used to write or photography stuff either. Especially now that GRE is over, u're placed well and have hardly anything to worry, (leaving aside admissions! :P) I am sure the loneliness and sorrow would be lost in the same sepulchral gloom of the swampy mind and you'd soon come up with the old Amal we know.

The Evil Genius said...

dude.. it was just diwali... and it was just 3 days.. dun worry.. i'll be back soon :P
nice read btw

amal said...

wow! this was more of a private post and i really didnt expect anyoen to read cos the blog has been dead for so long.. so really surprised and gratified!

@mitesh:ya i know man! give me a couple of weeks more.. once i am done with my apping work , i hope to be bakc big time :)

@mp: lol.. ya get ur ass back here soon.. i need my heater back :P